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piCtuRes of MeH
** A song that I can relate to. (^___^) ** pUt iN miNd *well....if you're tired to email me.
Just leave me a message at the tagboard or a comment.*
Ma. Romillie
Mae Lu
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There's always a saying in tagalog: "Kapag nadapa ka, bumangon ka
ulit". (ok..i cnt remember it in english..wahehe). Well, I always
believe in that saying but with the situation I went through...it was
definitely impossible.
Last
April 19, Thursday..oh what a day it was. It was the night I fell down
and just couldn't get up with my two feet. yeah..literally! I had my
first ever injury! Me!?!?! Seriously! I was the most conscious in the
team, I don't want to be injured ever..and how ironic, I actually got
injured while doing a drill..take note: the 1st drill of the night, the
1st try and my 1st training after more than 3 weeks of abscence!
All I can do rather than cry was laugh my ass off. It happened while
doin a drill where we have to run and jump (thanks, Anton! *sarcastic
tone*
)
and unfortunately, I jumped as high as I could and landed with my foot
folded and it caught my fall and then we heard a *crack*.
I
was down on the ground and all we did was laugh, I guess we all thought
it was just a small sprain. My teammates even said "Welcome back, Mae"
referring that it was just the Tionko Field's way of welcoming me back.
I just sat on the bamboo bleachers...thinking that I'll be back after
one week...and that atleast I would still be able to go to Bora. After
an hour of just sitting, we suddenly realized that my ankle was really
swelling, not the typical bruise. We were still laughing.."Hubag na
tlga ako!" I proudly said. 
However,
there was just something abnormal with my ankle. It was totally huge.
It's was like some little gremlin would suddenly pop out of it. So,
Cesar and I decided to go to the hospital and have a X-ray.
It
was laughter all and up to the way at the hospital as Cesar had to
carry me on his back. The people in the ER was questioning us if there
was a problem 'coz we looked like we were just playing around. When I
pointed down my ankle...they were shocked at how big the swelling was.
Everything just happened too fast. I was sitting in a wheelchair, Cesar
had to pay for the X-ray, I was brought to the X-ray room, my family
arrived, the doctor explained w/ the x-ray on her hand that I got a
fracture & there's a big possibility that I would have an
operation, they called the ortho doctor, an IV was injected, i wasn't
allowed to eat or drink anything unlike the next day, the er doctor put
a cast on my foot, I was laughing
the whole time knowing that my plans for bora are down the drain &
my mom actually scolded me because I was laughing, I was brought to my
room and got settled.
I was just there in my room, with nurses
going in and out of my room. A lot of needles was being stuck in my
arms but not a single tear rolled my eyes. I was pretty shocked because
I always cringe and cry at a sight of a needle. I don't know maybe I
was just in a happy mood (aka high na sa droga na tinuturok sakin!
bwahaha) the whole night that I wasn't worried what would happen to me.
My fears were conquered! wahehe...what a weird way to conquer it. 
The next day, I didn't have much sleep as nurses still came in and
out of my room several times. As early as 7am, I met my ortho doctor,
when he saw the x-ray and explain to us (as if i understand what he
explained bout my foot
) he then asked me when
was the last time I ate and drank anything...when he learned it was
over 12 hours, he then asked me if I was ok to have the operation 1pm
that afternoon. Calmly, I agreed...I just want it to be over with. Wahehe.
My
operation went like a breeze...I felt totally nothing as I was put into
sleep even before I was able to leave my room and woke up in the O.R
and it was done. phew! I was still in a daze and felt like I was in a
dream. wahehehe..it's like one of those scenes in the movies or tv
where you see the light in the OR and you see the doctor's face with
the mask in your face asking you something yet you just don't get it. Everything was a blur.
I
remember that a highschool classmate approached me at the Recovery room
and asked me..but I can't remember who it was because I was really high
that time. bwahaha. so kung sino man yun, Thanks ha! bwahaha..sana ndi
ka kasama dun sa O.R.
I just can't believe how two weeks can make you feel that you're life
has totally changed. In my part...it was a lot...so many changes that I
felt I just couldn't handle it all together, at the same time. It left
me stunned, confused...just watching everything happened in a snap. In
just two weeks, I saw my uncle lie in a bed in the ICU comatose, I
watched my cousin cry at her father's side, I realized that a person I
considered a friend really isn't, I experienced crying infront of a
teacher for a fault that wasn't even mine, I felt a sudden
anger/fear/envy all at the same time for an incident that left me so
helpless, I stopped temporarily for the sport that I truly love, I need
to grasp the fact that my dad would come home to Davao only a few times
now as he has to handle some important business in Zamboanga, I lost an
uncle after a week of his struggle from a stroke, I appreciated how
much our family (Lu clan) is tight especially at a time like this, I
introduced (for the first time!) someone special to my relatives, I was
faced with the reality that I am graduating a few days from now and
still haven’t started the path for my future due to the fact that I
can’t discuss business now with my dad as he is away from home, and
finally I am now at the point of learning to accept that I am to leave
the old routines of my life and face a new one, a totally different one.
This is reality…my reality, away from the comfort zone that I am used
to. Away from the flow of life that I only go along with. No more
summer vacations, no more semester breaks, no more Christmas breaks and
other school activities. I know everyone goes or will go through with
it but I can’t believe that a lot of things happened in my life all at
once. Before the month of March came, I had tons of plans after I
graduate…I was actually excited to leave school but what happened?
Where did the enthusiastic Mae-an gone through? How can I get ME back
on my feet and start on this journey? I suddenly felt lost…suddenly
questioning what would happen to me after I graduate? Fear had gotten
the best of me.
As I ponder on these thoughts, it left me
hopeless for awhile. However, after today, I know I can do it. With the
help of people I love, I know they will support me in my endeavor. I
know I can do it, all I needed was a reminder that it’s all alright and
that I can surpass it all. I can’t thank you enough for the support you
have always given me. I guess its all part of growing up and learning
how to deal with it. Jia You!
For those people who know me too well, they'll be shock for the change
that I did a week ago. I finally had my hair chopped! A move I don't
normally do but something just made me feel that it is about time.
I have never felt more like a new person. The new 'do really suited me,
well, not just by what people say but that's what I also felt. Whenever
I had my haircut in the past, I'd always have this over-reacting
tantrums (ask Sandy). I'll totally do a drama and not stop ranting of
whether to cut my hair or not..and in the end, I'll only have it cut
for about a couple of inches (sa mga pbb adik: remember Say?
grbe..ganun dyud ako...iiyak pa!).
(The New 'do) Right
now, a drastic change was really made for my hair. (in the words of my
hairdresser: "ayan, hindi ka na c Marina, c Claudine ka na! ang habang
tlga nung hair mo...") Man! She was actually scared when she showed me
how long/much hair she's gotta cut off. All I said was: "OK!" then
*smiles*. Even I was shocked with my reaction! It was definitely MORE than what I normally would have asked to be cut.
My
new hair actually showed a new me. A few people had notice that I was
exuding a new aura. I don't just feel light (ang bigat ng buhok ko
eh..bwahaha) but it also made me feel that changes in my life doesn't
necessarily means changing myself and my principles/beliefs. Changes
also means improvements...giving myself a chance to have the balls to
face something new, to make more mature decisions and act more maturely.
After 5 months of training, dozen rounds of jogging around agro field and usep ground, hundred gallons of water chugged down, being grilled under the sun, losing a lot of weight, shared laughs, anger, stress, jokes, pranks, irritation and a lot more emotions than we could ever think of we could share. We have finally made it. Disc is it. The hard work will be put into test. 
Ultimate STDs, the David of the Ultimate Frisbee are coming to Manila to face the Giants or should I say the Goliaths of the sport. Will we conquer? Will we be able to make our seniors (ie Manong Francis, J.Lo, Kuya Ipe, Kash..jst 2 name a few, & all the others who taught us ultimate) proud? Will we pee in our pants..err...skorts/shorts after seeing many "that-really-tall-guys" in the field? (figurative speeching!!!!
) There's only one way to find out and we'll only have to wait 5 more days. 3 more practices to go.
Whatever the outcome of the tournament may be. I'm really proud of what our team has become. It may not be perfect but goddamn we compose of gorgeous, attractive, intelligent, amazing people you could ever meet. (bwahahaha...bias galore!!!!). A great friendship emerged from this great sport and I can't feel any regrets ever playing and taking this sport by heart.
If we can't beat 'em in the field, we'll beat 'em by our good looks and "assets"!!!! bwahaha.
GO STD!!!! Spread the Virus.....ULTIMATE SOUTH TEAM DURIAN!!!
How come in life we don't have an eject button? We always get in situations where we wish we were out of? Like boring parties, stupid companies, irritating conversations, embarrasing moments and the likes. A normal person with a common sense would just simply answer that everybody goes through with it..."just charge it to experience" right? Ha! Easily said than done. In a situation where your beliefs, principles, dreams, plans, goals, and promises are being challenged, what are you to do? First, you are challenged because you too wanted to be in that situation, well, not really want but you also found satisfaction in that position in your life. You didn't do all your means to be there but it just happened. It's one of those surprises life slaps you in the face and wakes you up that not everything you wanted or planned is what you really wanted. You are stuck in a confusing state, a state where you are happy yet scared to be too happy. Scared that maybe this happiness is just temporary...you are dumb-founded! You know something...yet you don't know what to do with that knowledge because again...you are stuck! Stuck like a rabbit in a hole. Stuck like a cork in a wine bottle. Stuck like glue in paper. You do nothing but wait. Wait for what? For rain to come in a drought? We'll see...the answer still lies in ones self. In what one really wants and needs. In what one really risks to take that certain happiness. in what one wishes to be and to be with...
Blabbering inside my head, my mind's totally pissing me off. Im a third year college student and im already figuring out what i wanna do after graduation. I have plans but still I dont know if it will probably come true. So many questions are running through my head. Will my passion lead me to a bright future or will actually be a waste of time?
I know it'll all be in the hands of my dad. Of course, my official financer has the final word on it. wahehe. Studying in a different country is definitely not as easy as i just dreamt it was. I talked with my dad about it before and gladly, he agreed on it but it was a pretty long time ago and my dad may suddenly have an amnesia when i bring it up.
I want to talk to him about it but I found myself tongue-tied when i plan to bring it up. I really wanna do this though. I want to feel the independence of a foreign student. To realize that im mature enough to live on my own and learn new things. I know it's not really hard to tell this to my dad but i dont know why im having a hard time. It makes me uneasy to just think about it. I gotta have the courage to do this if im really convinced that i wanna pursue this dream.
Now, im wishing that im graduating this school year, to finish college and talk to my parents about my future plans. They know it already but i dont know if they forgot about it or they're still not thinking about it now because i still have a year to go?
As I observe the Korean foreign students at our school, I cant help but get jealous at them. I actually what to approach them and have a conversation with them on how it feels like living and studying at a foreign country. Im starting to imagine myself living alone on a foreign country, living in a dormitory and actually talking to people in a different language rather than my native tongue and i actually like it rather than being afraid.
Just this afternoon at the grocery, I started taking imported noodles and junk foods from china. In my mind, im actually convincing myself to get used to these food so that if ever i really do get to study in china, i wont be shocked with the food and get used to it easily. Im already getting set on buying books about china and the food. I want to program myself to not have a culture shock and learn things about china so that i won't have a hard time if ever i really do get to go.
It makes me anxious to not know what my life will be after graduation What would still come my way with a year and a half to go at school. Will I still have this great passion to learn my roots and learning the culture, food and language or will something or someone destroy this passion and make me turn away from it? I dont know why but its killing me slowly to have these questions in my mind...nobody can help me but myself to answer these questions. My destiny is in my hands and I know i just need more time to think things out and start with my first step on getting this.
If anybody's still checkin out my blog. Please check out this link though...we're selling great Flipflops!!!
http://chinx.blogs.friendster.com/maean/
A memorable event it was for us, Econ Students. Not only were our contestants for the Dafecos Pageant bagged the 1st runner up, but we had an opportunity to bond with each other.
I tell you, planned gimmicks aren't really that fun compared to unplanned gimmicks especially on a Saturday Night, the first night of the Oktoberfest. We had a really tiring day, starting at 7:00am and up until to 10:00pm at USEP for the Dafecos (Davao Federation of Economic Society) and a non-stop events that we had to join. I couldn't believe were we got all our energies that night.
Happening like this truly made me feel like a teeanger, dancing all night and having fun the entire time with my friends. Even though I was the only one who didn't drank, oh yes, I was the good girl that night because I was afraid to drive wasted..we had an awesome time! (^__^)
Yet, I was the one who totally acted like a drunk chick! Wahehe...I actually left one pair of my shoe at the sidewalk while walking towards Kaye's car! (Take note: My heel got stuck and I stepped on the cemented sidewalk bare foot) It's was totally weird, my classmates were teasing me because I was the "others" in the group because I didn't drank and yet I was the one acting that way!!! (^__^)
A night I definitely won't forget...hmm...maybe because we were the only group in the club dancing and taking picutres of ourselves the whole time!!! wahehe...and ofcourse, witnessing a guys to guys action...when i mean guys...i do mean it! watching 4 of our guy friends dancing "dirty" to each other was soooo funny and totally crazy!
I really do hope we'll have the same experience when we have the opportunity to go out. The laughs that we all shared that night was so infections that I couldn't believe these people would make me laugh my friggin' ass off the entire time!
Oooppsss.....Did we do something naughty!?? bwahaha...(^__^)
We're ruling the streets of Davao City!!
Can't deny this, but this song totally struck me! bwahaha...maybe because it pretty much described my life!?? bwahaha...but i'm not as dramatic as this song though but i can say i could totally relate to it. (^__^) Laging bigo laging sawi sa pag ibig Gusto ko lang maranasang umibig May birthday cake ka nga Tatanggapin na lang ba ang malupit
TUMATAKBO
By: Mojofly.
Minamalas o kay sakit
May balat nga ba ako sa pwet
Mabuti pa ang tindera sa aming kanto
Nakakainggit TL ang sweet nila ng
Kanyang nobyo
Tamaan ni kupido
Gusto ko lamang maranasan ang langit
Tumibok muli ang puso ko
Tumatakbo ang oras naiiwan na ako
Ng panahon
Di na nagbago bawat araw pare pareho
Parang kahapon
Ngunit wala naman kandila
May Christmas tree na malupet
Wala naman dekorasyong pansabit
Sadyang ganyan ang aking buhay
Walang kasing tamlay
Ayoko sanang tumandang nagiisa
Na tadhana o kayay
Tatanggapin na lang ba na akoy
Sadyang hingi pinagpala
Tigilan na ang drama
Punasan na ang luha
Life can be fun or boring. I can't consider my life as fun as others because I am typing this entry on a Saturday night, duh! bwahaha...its a bit low to just have that an example to prove my life to be boring though. I believe that life should have both. It gotta be fun and boring at times. In my situation, i just realized that I chose my life to be a bit boring. There were quite a few opportunities that came my way recently that girls my age are dying to have or maybe just dreaming and not actually dying. wahehe.(^__^)
I don't know if its a big thing though but I had 2 offers that would have changed my life, i gotta admit, i was damn scared when it was offered of course and so I turned it down. One was to be the Ms. Dafecos...i would be representing our school against other schools...its a "beauty pageant" for economic students and i gotta admit...it blew my mind because I definitely have no plans of joining such thing. bwahaha...good thing im good at ditching things i dnt want and so i got outta it even if i was already voted. *evil smile* Hope I could still get out of it next year though 'coz they are threating me that i cant get out of it next year. *deep praying*
The second one was for an independent film, my classmate was pursuading me to join this screening for an indie film to be joined at the Guerrilla Film Fest this year because the producer, director and writer was telling him to get me and pursuade me to join. Man...I certainly have no plans of joining those kind of things..bwahaha...love story pa tlga! a BIG no no for me...if it was a scary movie, i would definitely join...im a self-proclaimed twin sis of Sadako.....bwahahaha.(^__^) until now...he's still bugging me bout it...duh! may kissing scene pa tlga...PIMP tlga yun! ano ako? bale!??? =p
But again..I am not declaring my life to be boring...anyways, it's pretty fun..i guess...but of course, life isn't purrrfect and there are a lot of bumps thats in my way. Yet...these opportunities that came my way totally made me laugh my brains out!!!! bwahahaha...wla lng...natatawa lng me...know why? because there's a big question in my mind ever since this happened....WHY ME!???? bwhahaha....kakawindang lng...mdyo baduy kc noh..wahehe..so not me.(^__^)
