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piCtuRes of MeH
** A song that I can relate to. (^___^) ** pUt iN miNd *well....if you're tired to email me.
Just leave me a message at the tagboard or a comment.*
Ma. Romillie
Mae Lu
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"Do you feel like breaking down? Do you fell like running away...Welcome to my life." This is a line from the song by Simple Plan. It mostly explain a teenagers life and how we try to cope with it. Writing this essay with my eyes sore is not comfortable at all but my emotions are flowing and wanting to burst that inspired me to write inside the noisy food court. A very disturbing essay as I may say? o well....we all just have to express our feelings and it made me breath more easily when writing an essay and expressing myself.ü
My life at this moment is my hell. I guess now I have to stop wondering what it's like because I'm living in it. I am at the point where I don't know what to do with my life and I just want to quit if I could. Trying to think of something that will make me love my life like I did before but I failed to think of something or someone.
How can you love a life that stinks? I wonder and recollect at this moment and think that I am not satisfied at all. I have friends and family, and you'll think that's all what a person really need to be happy. But what will you do if it's all messed up? When you haven't talked with yur closest friends because you can't swallow your pride and reconcile with them? Or you had a fight with more than one of your family members?
I am trying to keep up with it but I wonder how long can I be strong or even pretend to be strong? I know that I am depressed right now and yet I also try to deny it.
I am so confused that if only I can tell God that I quit, I would, even beg on my knees. But I know we can't quit on life. You might think that because of this depression I might hurt myself? Heck, no! I'm still sane though. I've thought 'bout it, like others may also have, but I've got no guts to do it.ü I'm God fearing and I think that taking one's life is S-T-U-P-I-D so I'm no way capable of doing such thing, I'm just waiting. Waiting for what? Waiting for a tsunami to drown me to death or a car crash that'll kill me instantly or if I'm lucky, a meteor that'll knock my head and cause internal bleeding inside my head. Natural causes that I can't blame on someone else, it'll just meant to be.
I guess I am still waiting in vain for those natural causes to come!
I am now a Kitchie Nadal fan! Wahehe...I heard her whole album and the songs are great! Her voice is so unique and I like it.ü Around lunchtime, I watched MTB: Ang Saya-Saya and Kitchie was their opening performance! Waahhh!! This gurl is so amazing! I liked her outfit! Wahehe....I can't help but to take a picture of the television!
I'm starting to like OPM songs now. Hmmm...good thing our own are improving in the music industry.;) But of course...I'm still a big fan of C-Pop and K-pop though...their kind of music are still unique and I love it!ü
I'm also happy today because even though today's the 1st day of school for the year eh I have a "buena mano" with the first exam result I had. Hay...I'm pretty satisfied with the result and it kinda made my day even though I only had 3 hours of sleep.ü
This is the day that every student dread and hoped would never come. Yes! The last day of our Christmas Break! Tomorrow, we will be back in our 4 corners prison!!! Our teachers/professors as the jail warden and our "prison" uniforms...=p I really don't have against schools...it's just that I have the stupidest schedule...ever!!!!! Wanna know what it is!???? MWF: my 1st class will start 8:45am then for the day it'll end at 12:10pm...when you think about...it's ok right!?? 'coz I'll only be at school half day..WRONG!!! My last class will be 5:50pm-6:50pm! yess...6 hrs break! my whole afternoon. That's not it..my T-sked is worse!! TTH: 1st class is at 7:40am-9:10am and that's it for the day...hmm..what's the catch!??? My next and last class will be on 5:55pm-7:25pm!!!! Now....that's my schedule! Pretty dumb right!?? I don't know...I'm still trying to cope with this sked. I just go to the gym on my breaks but I sometimes just stay at home and waste time doing nothing or just do some homework!
Nevermind that...the things I did today? Mostly...nothing! I was at Victoria Plaza whole afternoon just going around and wanting to buy things but I can't 'coz the stuff at Victoria are pretty ugly or all imitations...:P I was there because my Grandmother was at the parlor so while waiting for her to finish...which is like forever!!! Most of time...I was just at the record bar looking at some cds. I'm trying to start a new collection now...I wanna collect Original cds and vcds! Wahehe....yup! The ultimate "pirata" had turned?!? Well...not really!ü Wala lng...Naenjoy me buy orig cds eh...ü Today...I bought Kitchie Nadal's cd. She's becoming my idol...wahehe..maybe I was just influenced by "Lover's In Paris"! I love her song "Wag na Wag..." and her voice is cool...u know..the "paos" style..I dunno..i really can't explain.ü I haven't listened to the cd completely.
I don't have anything planned to today but just to finish reading "The Da Vinci Code". I was having second thoughts of coming to Beng-beng's party because I was already caught up with book! Wahehe..pretty amazing huh!?? 'Coz I'm no book-worm! I hate reading books and I'd rather wait for it's movie to come out but I was forced to read the "Da Vinci Code" because we have to make a book report or something when classes resume...=p I never thought I'd be caught up with the book though. It's pretty good and the story made me think and reflect. (char...serious!=D)!
Today is the first day of the year. I actually woke up pretty late as usual...late as I expected!!! I felt awful because I'm really sick! My condition became worst and I had to skip my uncle's birthday celebration. Hay...good thing Mom was here and she ordered a pizza (Pizze Hut) for me. Yey...atleast that made me feel good.ü I actually felt bad the other day because I thought my new year would suck. But today...even if it's not the best New Year for me...I still felt good and I should be optimistic this year!ü Every new year...everybody's thinking about their new year's resolution and I would usually think about that. Honestly, I never really thought about it until now...I'm picking from lots of resolutions but then, I'm already happy the way I am today. I guess my New Year's Resolution will just be to continue the things that I have started! I should be more hard-working and be the best that I can to not disappoint myself and others.
